Wednesday, December 16, 2009

"I Wonder" Wednesday: Sugar Mamas

i wonder, have you ever been a sugar mama?  i was recently on the peripheral of a conversation amongst a group of women, mostly college students, who were discussing at least one relationship in each of their lives where they had "scraped their last pennies together" to take care of their partner.  so they asked me, "when were you a sugar mama?"  i thought about it...and i came up with nothing.  i have to admit, i suddenly felt as if this were some woman's rite of passage that i had missed out on.  i really wanted to come up with an answer.  i wanted to be a part of the "in" crowd, even though the crowd was lamenting.  it's even funnier as i type it.

so then i began to most women have a sugar mama story?  i realize i'm a strange bird, so maybe sugar mama status is indeed a rite of passage right up there with your first broken heart and your first crush on a middle-aged blue-eyed soul singer (just me?  you sure?).

so what say you, sistergarteners?


Austin Anderson said...

u can take care of me if you really want this rite of passage. I'll help you right through this period. :)

Anonymous said...

is "scraping your last pennies together" for a partner a right of passage or a right of partnership? sometimes it just be's that way and i don't think it's always malicious. though I am not female and neither is my partner, he made way more money than I and supported me while I was in school and now i am doing the same while he is getting his degree.

rhythm said...

@austin i'ma pass, lol.
@anonymous you make some good points. and i didn't intend to imply maliciousness (though i think that was the tone of the original conversation)...maybe a "light" maliciousness :). as in, "girl, that man had me spendin' my last dime! i was in LOVE."

Anonymous said...

ahhh, well that's different. thanks for the clarification. in that regards I think that being "taken" by men is kind of a right of passage for many women, particularly women of color, who are often socialized to think they have to be taken care of brothers because it is their responsibility. you know, "the good sista" complex. men are not socialized in exactly the same way. often they are taught to be protecting of women and provide for their family, etc. but that is in many ways a very paternalistic thing because it suggests that women can't provide for themselves. and, when a woman is provided for financially by a man you here more "gold digga" conversations in this world than when men take women.

rhythm said...

one of the 10,000 complaints i had about destiny's chirren doing "cater to you." women took that thang to hAWrt.

The Company Man said...

I've been waiting 12 years for a sugar mama. Came close once...and it was everything I thought it could be.


Blog Widget by LinkWithin