Raw Week 2009: Day 2

yesterday was rough. i went plum crazy at the end of the night. i don't remember very much of it, other than the fiancé beginning to lose patience; he tends to encourage sleep when i'm tap-dancing on his nerves. he was eating a grilled turkey and cheddar sandwich, and i just wanted to SMELL it. i don't even eat turkey! i was desperate. but let me be clear about why i was so hungry. i couldn't decide on what to eat. every time i chose something, i had one bite and was done with it. this could become a very expensive practice, so i just stopped eating. i realize i need to be more creative in order to satisfy my hunger (and get enough nutrients and calories to survive this week). i can't figure out if this is just grazing, or if i'm just mentally dissatsfied with my food options.

so, in the midst of my mania, i decided to make raw peanut butter. i don't have a spectacular food processor (it's just okay), so i started to panic when the peanut mixture stopped mixing. fortunately, this is when the fiancé came home and intervened. while he's nobody's chef (i was shocked he even made his own grilled turkey sandwich, which i'm sure he only did to save me the torture of making it for him), he stepped right in, added some water (i had only used raw peanuts, honey, sea salt, and olive oil based on varying recipes from the internet), and saved my peanut debacle. i had him stop blending before it was anywhere near smooth, for fear that my food processor was going to explode. i can't determine whether that was a rational thought or if it was just my crazies talking. at any rate, the result was a slightly crunchy, sweet and salty blend that was yummy on a celery stalk. of course, as with everything else last night, i was done with it after one bite. i refrigerated it, hoping it will make a good snack tonight. shout out to my boo :).

needless to say, the crazies didn't allow me to prepare today's lunch last night. so it was snatch and grab, raw diet style. i made my green smoothie (banana, strawberries, spinach, and water) and grabbed a banana, some green grapes, some strawberries, and a plum. i still had a bottle of water and a couple of boxes of raisins in my office desk.

i've heard from several raw foodists that the first 2 days are the hardest. well, on top of that, my first day was a long work day, and day 2 began with an office meeting with coffee, bagels, and donuts. now, as much as i love donuts, i usually don't eat them at these meetings for fear that i might devour the entire spread all by my lonesome (donuts are one of the few sweets i'm weak for). but, i do usually grab a bagel with cream cheese. and today i literally fantasized about scooping the cream cheese container with my finger. i'm still thinking about it, actually. send help.

4:11pm: i wasn't very hungry today. after my smoothie, i only had some water, a banana, and a box of raisins. i should have at least eaten the grapes, but i just wasn't hungry. and i must say, at the risk of being crass, i thought this process would be more cleansing. i can't say that it has been. eh, well. at any rate, i feel great today. my energy is much better than yesterday. aside from the cravings, that is. but i realize the cravings are more about comfort than hunger or deficiency. i'm craving junk food, BREAD, and my sisterfriend's vegetarian chili at the moment.