To Be Young, Gifted, and...Humble

...to be young, gifted, and black/oh, what a lovely precious dream... ~nina simone, "to be young, gifted, and black" (simone/irvine)

of all the versions of "to be young, gifted, and black," donny hathaway's is my favorite, which is not common for me since it's not the original, but i happen to think that musically, donny could do no wrong. so, i'm biased. anyway, i never knew (before looking for an info link to share with the sistergarten) that ms. nina co-wrote the song as a tribute to her dear friend lorainne hansberry. i learn something new every day...but i digress (per usual).

i thought of this song as a result of some things that have been turning over in my mind during the last few weeks. i've been thinking a lot about being humble (or being humbled, by force, which is a totally different animal). over the past 6 months or so, i've been collecting a (virtual) pile of rejection letters from literary agents and publishers who have mostly replied "great work, no thanks" (to paraphrase). and then earlier this week, i got a "no thanks" from a famous poetry retreat for artists of color (who shall remain nameless 'cause i'm a hater at the moment); no "great work" on that one. no feedback at all, actually. at any rate, a series of things (including said rejections) has prompted me to ask myself, "do people just not get it, or am i just not giving what i think i am?" this question, once posed rhetorically aloud, was answered by the fiancé with (after a long lecture)...wait for it, wait for it...a kanye west reference.

for a bit of background, i've had a love/hate relationship with mr. west for years. but to be honest, i've begun to understand him a bit more over the last year or so. and in the midst of this kanye west comparison (as i'm thinking, "did he seriously just compare me to kanye?" and trying to determine if it was an insult or a compliment), i began to identify with 'ye and his larger-than-life ego. i have, as of late, suspected that his ego is the result of many years of having to prove to others that he is as talented as he says he is. and, in fact, he has since conceded this point (check out www.kanyeuniversecity.com/blog and search for "ego," as i'm unable to link). so i've decided to use the kanye method and start telling everyone how great i am. how, in fact, i am the best writer and poet of the 21st century...the maya angelou of my generation! okay, so i'm not really going to do that (nor do i think that way), but i do have a newfound respect for him as an artist who's not modest for the sake of politeness. as a naturally modest (and quite shy) person, i would not choose to emulate his model, but i can take a page from it for my internal dialogue.

so, enough about kanye, as i don't even own any of his music (aside from what he has contributed to some of my favorite artists' work, namely john legend [or "homeschool" as i call him] and estelle). my point is that as artists and as people, we have to remind ourselves of the greatness of our contributions, even when others can't/don't/won't recognize it. now, whether or not you choose to rant onstage at an awards show (or on your blog or social networking page) is at your discretion. but at the minimum, rant within. believe that you are as good as you believe you are (yes, i meant that exactly that way). and if you're not, at least you won't know it :).

they say that i won't last too long on broadway. i'll catch a greyhound bus for home, they all say. but they're dead wrong--i know they are. 'cause i can play THIS HERE GUITAR. and i won't quit 'til i'm a star...on broadway... ~george benson, "on broadway" (mann/weil)

In Search of Gardens...

...scared to have kids and do like daddy did/'cause i'm so scared of failin'... ~anthony hamilton, "comin' from where i'm from"

so many black men are afraid to be fathers (or afraid to try to be good fathers) because of the failures of their own fathers. and i'm sure this is true of most men who lack good father figures, but i'm also sure it's more prevalent in the black community, given our history of fatherlessness, tracing back to slavery.

so, i was recently have a conversation on this very topic. and the prevailing question seemed to be: nature or nurture? what makes the difference between 1) men (of any race and/or background) who become bad fathers (or avoid fatherhood) due to fatherlessness and 2) men who become great fathers despite fatherlessness. for the sake of this conversation, "fatherlessness" refers to the occurence of absent fathers as well as seldom-present or emotionally absent fathers. so, is it simply an innate difference in personality and character of the young man (or can personality even be innate)? or is it a matter of the other male influences in his life? or is it a combination of these and any number of other factors?

as i approach marriage and hopefully parenthood, i am giving more thought to what experiences have made me who i am. as alice walker once wrote, "in search of my mother's garden, i found my own." in my life that means that in beginning to understand my mother as a woman (not just as "mama"), i begin to learn a lot about myself as a woman, and actually, vice versa. and to take it a step further, i'm naturally thinking of my future children's gardens and how they will be shaped by my own.

so, as this began as an examination of the effects of fatherlessness on young men, it seems to have come full circle as an examination of the effects of parents on children. what say you, sister(and brother)garteners?

fathers be good to your daughters/daughters will love like you do/girls become lovers who turn into mothers/so mothers be good to your daughters, too... ~john mayer, "daughters"

Goin' to the Chapel (So to Speak) and We're Gonnnna Get Maaaaarried...

i'm getting married. it won't be in a chapel, and it's not until august 2010, but i figured what better way to share the experience and get eclectic suggestions than to occasionally post my planning tidbits here?! also, i wanted an excuse to post my cute little wedding avatar from the knot. there are tons of wedding planning websites, but i chose the knot because the site is user-friendly, and users are able to browse wedding gowns, vendors, flowers, and anything else you might need for the big day, and save them as favorites to review later. the knot also has a tool for budgeting, which is great for someone (like me) who has no clue what certain things should cost. there is also a to-do list tool, which helps users know what items should be taken care of on a monthly basis, counting down to the big day. okay, enough free advertising, lol.

i describe myself as an unconventional bride with classic sensibilities. i'm a big believer in doing things the way i want to, even if "tradition" would have it otherwise. but i also like classic touches of simple elegance (that's my mother in me). so, while i'll likely forgo floral decorations for tons of candles, i do want a modest, simple dress (though it won't be white). and i intend to not let the planning get stressful. that's the plan, people.

oh, and i'm simultaneously a bridesmaid in two of my brideswomen's weddings in the meantime. let the ride begin...

be. fly.
rhythm

Rare Blood, Indeed: A Libations Preview

here is the first of a series of previews from Libations Vol. 1: Black Artists Who Died Young. it's a tribute to j dilla, entitled "dilla, jd."

















Dilla, JD

J. Dilla
Jay Dee
J… D…
Juris Doctor=
Doctor of Jurisprudence=
Doctor…of Law
J. Dilla knew the laws of hip-hop
And he knew the laws of soul
And he had jurisdiction in both worlds
‘Cause he had passed the bar,
Earning creative license like no other
Like no other, he passed the bar…
That most people say he set
And raised
And passed again…

J… D…
JurisDiction
The authority to speak
For a nation’s generation
Of the reincarnation of soul
He spoke to our souls
Through hisses and pops
And conscious hip-hop…
He fed us new classics
And our souls
Joyfully Digested them
Like Donuts for a sweet tooth,
Like Water for Chocolate,
Like…Bliss.

J… D…
Jewel of Detroit
1974’s gift to the future
Not just a producer,
But an essence
Musician, writer
MC, fighter—
For good music and truth,
You know—things that really matter—
An essence
Leaving deep, permanent grooves
On family, fans, and peers
An essence
Pure and humble
Mystical yet real
Rare blood, indeed
And he took the formula
To his tear-soaked grave

J… D…
Journeyed Diligently
For his passion
He loved it,
And he lived it,
Inspiring even the unsuspecting,
Resurrecting relevance
In an almost breathless hip-hop
Leaving his impression on Forever.





rhythm (c) 2008

The End of The Rawvolution

today would be day 5, but a cooked meal is gon' come. i've decided to end my raw adventure 2 days early. the primary reasons are that i don't feel well enough to go to the gym (something i try to do at least 4-5 days a week), i don't feel like i'm getting enough nutrients, and i don't have nearly as much energy as i expected to have. i have much less than i usually do. i also have yet to see any cleansing benefits, unless you count this semi-pimple on my cheek. granted, i'm sure this lifestyle takes more than a week to get used to, but 6 days was all i had alotted for the entire process, so anything i hadn't acomplished in 4 days, i doubt would come in the remaining 2. so i realized that i had, indeed, gained what i had wanted from the process. and had i continued to the initial finish line, it would have simply been deprivation at that point; it would no longer be about me. it would be an effort to do 6 days just because i had said i would and to avoid telling everyone, sistergarteners included, that i had quit.

so i'm leaving this part of the venture. i'll take a lot of what i learned and incorporate it into my daily lifestyle. for starters, i'll pay a lot more attention to by body and what it needs. and i'll be a lot more creative about incorporating various fruits and veggies into my diet.

thanks to the girls, the fiancé, and the sistergarteners for your support during this process. and special thanks to tina for all her professional wisdom, suggestions, and recipes.

when i sell a million copies of my next book, i'll be able to afford raw restaurants and raw chefs who know a hell of a lot more about a raw lifestyle than i do. maybe then i can give it a more sophisticated attempt.

for now... my first un-raw meal? i don't know yet, but i'm pretty sure it involves bread. goodness, i miss bread.

be. fly.

rhythm